Dodge a bullet, take a bullet

Well, at least I didn't miss waves today. So far, so good. It was choppy and small at dawn, no sign of any hurricane Bill swell yet, and I was happy, since today was the first day back to work for teachers. Dodged that one.

The bullet I took came around 10 am, when I was introduced to the new ESE teacher. Remember, that job I really, really thought I wanted? Somehow I had heard that she had 29 years of ESE experience and a Masters in Reading. I can't compete with that. She has the degree, yes. But, oh, if you could have been me, standing in that room when I met her. I was staring, trying to figure out if there had been some type of mistake. There she stood, smiling so brightly, all of twenty-five years old and drop dead gorgeous. My vision narrowed, and I did not hear a single word that was being said, only heard my heart pounding in my chest, and felt the room growing unbearably hot, my palms sweating. Where is that mentor that was older than me, the one I was going to learn so much from? Then I heard her say she had graduated the year before me, and from the same college. She had been an ESE parapro at another school in town for the past three years. She hadn't even really sought out this new job. She had just randomly applied when she saw it. She said she had even been happy where she was.

It took me a few minutes to recover. I have been devastated by a much younger, beautiful woman before. It's nothing I can't handle. So, I listened to her talk, and I died a little more, wishing I had been a little smarter, and wiser in my choices at college. I chose Sociology over Elementary Education, you see.

But, then again, if I had it to do over... I don't think I would change a single thing.

So, I smiled, and I took her for a tour around the school, and introduced her to everyone, showed her the ropes. Seems like no one had bothered to do that. I realized how it must be, to be starting at a new school, and not knowing anyone. I warned her about a few of the first grade teachers, and how they could be a little persnickety, but once she got to know them, it would be okay.

She seemed to really like me, and smiled so sweetly, said she really appreciated my taking the time to do that. Then she confided in me about how scared she was. That was when I decided I am probably really going to really like her.

I think I will learn a lot from this much younger, scared, and glowingly beautiful woman.

At the end of the day, the principal called me into his office. He told me there had been over 700 applicants for that job I thought I wanted. We had a long chat, and he explained everything to me. It was exactly what I needed. I was walking on air when I left his office.

My time is coming, It's just not yet. Not yet...