Today's yoga class ended with a message that fit. All this stuff we worry about will pass. The ebb and flow of life will prevail. To fight it would be silly. Force only ensures that things will end badly.
My friends got me through it, again. I bounce stuff off them, and they bring me back to reality. The ebb and flow.
Checking the waves this morning was a disappointment. There it was, brown, murky, one foot mush. Andy, Mark, and I stood at the overlook at Summerhaven in the chilly breeze, and no one wanted any of it. Maybe later, I said. After the storm blows through, maybe the wind will lie down and the incoming tide may help. So, that's what we decided, and we all went our separate ways.
The hamster cage started spinning. I wrote things down, mulled them over. I bounced them off Junior, and she helped me think things through. Karen got me thinking about everything with things she said, and that inspired me to make some decisions. Sean talked me down when things were looking especially dark. Joe called, and even David. Then Melissa was calling me to come sit in her living room to talk. I love her. It is good to talk to someone older and wiser. We talked about life, and about the things she had survived and endured. She told me how you have to continually reinvent yourself in order to grow.
It's time for more growing, I guess. I am so tired of growing. Can't I be done, already? Enough with the growing! Maybe I'm not growing as much as I thought. I think that is why I fall apart. Miles to go before I sleep, and all that.
So, it was getting to be late afternoon. Tom called, asking if I had checked the surf. I'm just going, I said, adding the finishing touches to a letter to the principal that I will never send. It made me feel better to write it down. It made me see how emotions come into things and send you off the path and rolling down a hill.
I went to Matanzas, and so did Andy. We ended up at Summerhaven again. Looking out at it, we were defeated again. Brown water and even smaller surf! I'm going home, Andy said, all hope for surfing lost. Tom was at the overlook on the north side at that moment, looking at the waves. He called me, unable to find me, and was going back to the other ramp. I didn't know the north side was open. It had been closed for months for the repaving of the parking lot. So, he drove back and we ended up there. I said whatever, let's just paddle around for exercise. I have to get into the ocean. He agreed, and we never even looked at it, just put on our wetsuits and went.
When we came over the walkway and saw the ocean, we both smiled and said something about it not looking that bad. There were two guys out, and it was cleaner and bigger than anywhere I had seen all day. The wind was more offshore, and we trotted down there and jumped in. My first wave felt good, and then it was wave after wave, as fast as you could get them. They weren't that big, but it seemed the tide was making them break better and bigger than I had expected. I saw Tom get one that was at least chest high and it peeled off really nice. He had a huge grin as he paddled back out.
It was a real surprise, and just when I had given up. I was wishing I had called Andy, because he would have had fun on his placebo, and I would have had fun surfing with him. Karen had to pick up Brie from work, so it was no use calling her. I could see the rain was advancing fast. We had a blessed hour of wave after wave. There was nothing I needed more than that after this stressing weekend of hamster cage spinning. Predictions are for days of flatness, too, so I am so glad I decided to just go. Sometimes you just have to give up to find what you are looking for.
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