I am happy for Andy. No one deserves it more right now than him. He scored it today. I will probably be posting some epic shots of him as soon as the rest of the shots come in. Right now, there is only this one picture to torture me.
I could not skip work today. Not with New Zealand one week away. I haven't been sick all winter. I haven't had to use one sick day. That is the thing that scares me every now and then. The "what if's" can get you. What if I get sick next week? What if I can't go? What if what I have been dreaming about for the past five years doesn't happen?
Every time I walked down the hall with all the windows today, I looked at the flag. All the way past noon, it was still lazily flopping around, teasing me with its direction. Perfectly offshore. I knew it was good. I looked online to see it, glassy and green, just like in all the nightmares I have had throughout the forty plus years of this sunny addiction. It's good and I can't go. I cannot get this day back. God, I wish I had freedom. So many people I know do. Then I realize that it is all relative. So many people will never even know the joy of surfing. I just missed a few hours of it. But, still, I bite my nails as I drive to the beach after work to find it onshore, and I have to go to my second job anyway.
Like Bob said, there are no violins playing for me. One day of good waves in New Zealand and this day will be only a faint ache, rather than the heart- wrencher that it is at this moment.
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